Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Chủ Nhật, 12 tháng 4, 2020

A programmer was leaving the house and his wife said "While you're out, get some milk"

He never returned and the world ran out of milk....

Thứ Bảy, 11 tháng 4, 2020

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.

Now, when someone adds me on Facebook, it will say: you are now friends with Benefits....

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it's going by. As he gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Impeccable timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy." Passenger: "Sounds like he was...

A teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers

“Yes,” he says. “My dad taught me.” “Can you tell me what comes after three?” “Four” “What comes after six?” “Seven” “Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?” “A jack,” answers Little Johnny....

A guy walks into a bar in one morning, and goes up to the bar tender. "Do you guys have golden toilets?" he asks.

"What? Golden toilets? What are you talking about?" "Look, last night I got pretty wasted but the one thing I can remember is peeing in a golden toilet." Bartender says "OK, first, no we don't have golden toilets. Secondly, HEY MORTY, I FOUND THE GUY THAT PISSED IN YOUR TUBA!"...

My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...

I told her not to get her hopes up. "After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute." When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."...

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