Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 6, 2020

What burns longer, a red or a blue candle?

Neither, they both burn shorter....

If I had a dollar for every woman who's seen me naked...

...I could pay that fine I got for indecent exposure....

An Englishman, an Irishman and an Italian are taken prisoners of war...

They take the Englishman back and hogtie him, whip him, and beat him senseless. After two hours of being brutally tortured, he spills all of his secrets. Then they take the Irishman back and hogtie him, whip him, and beat him senseless. After four hours of being bashed bloody and bruised, he tells his captors everything he knows. Finally, they take the Italian and hogtie him, whip him, and beat him senseless. The other two men could here him crying out in pain for nearly ten hours as he was tortured, but his captors couldn’t get him to tell them...

Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 6, 2020

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals;

I M LIVID...

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9

The odds were against me....

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair." "What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong." So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children...

My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence....