“It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message.”
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 6, 2020
Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"
He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.
Thứ Năm, 25 tháng 6, 2020
An 80-Years old man goes for a Penis Checkup...
After a brief evaluation of his penis the doctor says,
Doctor: Eveything looks fine, but for a complete analysis, we need your sperm(semen) sample too.
He further gives him a small glass bottle.
Doctor: Bring this back tomorrow and then we'll proceed further.
Next day the old man brings back the bottle but to the Doctor's surprise the bottle was completely clean and empty.
Doctor: What happened?
Old Man: After I went home, I first tried with my left hand,nothing happened. So, I shifted to the right hand but still no result.
Then, I asked my wife for some help, She first tried with the left hand and repeated the same with the right hand, She even went ahead and used her mouth but still nothing changed.
Doctor: Then, What Happened?
Old Man: Then, We called our next door young neighbor for the help, She tried the same with both the hands and then tried with the mouth but no progress was made.
Doctor: Wait, What? You even tried with your neighbor?
Old Man: Yes, But this fucking Bottle Still won't open.
A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day.
A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day. After aggravating his mother, he's sent outside to play. In the yard, he overhears his neighbors fighting: "You bitch!" "You bastard!" Astounded, he runs back inside and asks his mother, "Mommy mommy! What is a bitch and bastard?"
With a blush she stammers, "Well, bitch is a fancy word for a lady and bastard is a fancy word for a gentleman. Now run upstairs and tell your sister to get ready for dinner."
He quickly runs up to his sister's room and hears strange noises coming from behind the door. He curiously puts his ear to the keyhole and hears "Yes! Put your cock in my pussy!" Astounded, he runs to his father and asks, "Daddy daddy! What is a 'cock' and 'pussy?'" In the midst of shaving, his father explains, "Well, a cock is a hat and a pussy is a coat."
"Oh!" the young boy replies. "I wish I had a nice pussy to use for Christmas!" Taken aback at his son's use of his new vocabulary, he cuts himself across the cheek. "Shit!"
"Daddy? What's 'shit?'"
"Ummmm, 'shit' is the brand of shaving cream I use. Why don't you see if your mother needs help in the kitchen?"
Confused but overjoyed to learn so much in a day, the boy runs downstairs, prepared to thrill his mother with his knowledge. "Momma!"
Surprised, she cuts herself across the hand. "FUCK!"
"Momma, what's 'fuck?'"
"Well, sweetie, 'fuck' is a special way of carving the turkey so everyone gets a slice."
At that moment the doorbell rings.
"That must be your grandparents. Answer the door please while I bandage this up."
The boy runs to the door, flings it open to find his grandparents on the front stoop. Without a moment to spare, he greets his guests:
"Good afternoon bitches and bastards! May I take your cocks and pussies? It's just me right now. My father is upstairs wiping shit off his face and mother is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
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