Oof.
Thứ Bảy, 27 tháng 6, 2020
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 6, 2020
A couple decided that they are ready to have sex
The girl planned it so the boy would come home to meet her parents and they would sneak off to her room to lose their virginities together. The boy was ecstatic. He knew he had to acquire condoms but knew nothing about them as he was only 16. He decided to go to a pharmacist to ask some questions. He told the pharmacist all about his plan to lose his virginity with his gf and asked him many question. The pharmacist was happy to answer all of the young boys questions as he's reminiscing about his youth and the night he lost his virginity. The pharmacist ends up talking to the boy for quite a while as he educated the boy about everything he needed to know. Their conversation even got a little unprofessional at times. It's just the two enjoyed their little talk so much neither of them could help it. Figuring the couple were probably going to start having a lot of sex they opted to get the value 50 pack.
The boy goes to have dinner with his girlfriend and her family. When he gets to the dinner table the boy drops his head in prayer. After the parents and girlfriend were finished praying they realised the boyfriend still hung his head in prayer. Minutes pass by and he's still praying.
The girl was shocked " I didn't know you were so religious!?"
"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first mathematician orders a beer
The second orders half a beer
"I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies
"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2
"What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous."
"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"
"There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to."
"But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"
"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender
"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"
"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"
"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches
Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.
The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"
The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"
The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.
A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"
"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."
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