The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor
Thứ Tư, 8 tháng 7, 2020
Thứ Ba, 7 tháng 7, 2020
A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.
That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.
As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.
The next morning he wakes up to find a queue of naked men leading into the mosque. At the front, the mosque leader is in prayer with the man leading the line.
As the prayer finishes, he drops to his knees and swings his fist into the naked guys balls, flooring him! The naked guy slowly comes to his senses and crawls out of the mosque.
Confused, the marine asks the mosque leader what's going on...
"These men are thieves, rapists and murderers from all over Afghanistan." He says, "Instead of prison, their punishment is to walk through the desert in nothing but their sandals, receive Allah's justice, then return home."
The marine returns to his post and continues to watch these unusual punishments.
After 6 long months of no bed, no clean water, no toilet and witnessing this unusual justice system, his replacement arrives.
"Hey, my last post was in Korea, how is it here?" Asks the replacement. "And what's with this queue of naked guys in the middle of nowhere!?"
"Well, I'll be honest with you", replies the marine, "this a shit post, and what you're looking at here is a criminal punch line."
One day the sheriff sees Billy Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says, “Billy Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?”
Billy Bob replies, “Well, sheriff, it’s a long story!” The sheriff says he isn’t in a hurry and that Billy Bob should tell the story.
Billy Bob continues, “Well, sheriff, me and Mary Lou were down on the farm and we started cuddling. Mary Lou said we should go in the barn and we did.
Inside the barn we started kissing and cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy. Well Mary Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did.
Up on the hill we started kissing and cuddling and then Mary Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots.
Then Mary Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said, “Okay, Billy Bob, go to town...”
Two old ladies were smoking a cigarette while waiting for a bus. It started to rain, so one of them took out a condom from her purse..
and cut off the tip, slipped it over cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw this and said, 'Hey thats a good idea! What is it that you put over ur cigarette?' The other old lady said, "It's a condom". "A condom? Where do u get those?". The lady replied, "You can purchase them at pharmacy. When they both got back to their hometown, lady with all questions went to pharmacy and askrd the man at counter, "Do you sell condoms?" The pharmacist said "Yes" But he was surprised that this old woman is still sexually active. So he asked her, "What size do you want?" The old lady confused by question thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel".
Translated this joke from my native language...
A guy say (Billy) who had very small penis, came to know about a guy. who knew a word, which upon saying penis grows by some inches.
Billy went there, that guy sat on a hill, and to climb that hill, there was a rope. So Billy started climbing that hill, upon climbing, the man asked Billy, how long do you want it? Billy said "I have 3 inches now, I want to grow it to 9 inches". So the guy said to Billy, "say this word 3 times, and your work will be done."
Upon saying the word 3 times, it really happened! Billy thanked the guy and said "its amazing!" Then he asked but "don't you say this word too many times everyday while meditating? So how long would your penis be?". The guy replied "yes my friend, how the hell do you think, you climbed this hill?"
Sorry English is not my first language, but I hope this joke makes you laugh.
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