...as he’s reeling him in, the shark yells “please let me go, I’m a magic shark, if you let me go I’ll grant you a wish”
“Ok” says the man “I wish that my dick would reach all the way to the floor”
So the shark ate his legs.
Thứ Sáu, 10 tháng 7, 2020
So I was having sex with this woman...
I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.
“Oh god,” she said, “it’s my husband. Quick, use the back door!”
Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it’s not an offer you get everyday...
Three muscular brothers are sitting at a table in a bar
A drunk old man is sitting at the bar counter and drinking beer.
After he finishes his drink, he approaches the youngest brother and says,
"I fucked ya mum"
The young brother is disgusted at the old man's words, but silently looks at the floor as the old man heads back to the counter to order another beer.
When the old man finishes the beer, he comes up to the second youngest brother and says,
"Ya mum sucked me dick"
The second youngest brother's face contorts in agony, but he too is silent as the old man returns to the bar counter to order another beer.
A he downs the last beer, he approaches the oldest, largest of the brothers and yells,
"I put me willy in ya mum's bum!"
Horrified, the oldest brother silently answers,
"You're drunk dad, go home"
Title that makes you click the post
A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. After trying to fall asleep for a few hours, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted
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