-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!
Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 7, 2020
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
“Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Irish Confession
Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive I think its been a while since I’ve been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”
I once dated a girl with a twin.
People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple: Jill had green eyes and Bob had a cock.
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