I said “decepticons.”
She laughed, I laughed, my microwave laughed.
I shot the microwave.
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 7, 2020
Karen goes to the psychic...
"Two men, Bob and Carl, both want to marry me. Who will be the lucky one?"
"You will marry Bob. Carl will be the lucky one."
Thứ Hai, 13 tháng 7, 2020
Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.
The one says,” You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.“
“Oh, what’s it called?” asks the other man enthusiastically.
His friend thinks for a minute,” Uhm…I…er…”
Obviously having a senior moment he says,” What’s that flower, you know, war named after it, given out on Valentine’s day?”
The other man says,” You mean the rose?”
His friend lets out a gleeful,” Yes! That’s it, a rose!”
He then turns in the chair and calls to his wife,” Rose! What’s the name of that place we ate at last night?”
The Darkest Joke I Know
A boy is blind from the day he is born, Never knowing his mothers face never knowing colors and never knowing anything except what he can feel, smell, hear, or touch.
One night the boy is in his bedroom when his mother comes in and sits down on the bed beside him, she says "Sweetie I have some very good news for you" Tonight is a very special night, for tomorrow is a very special day,
The mother explains to her son that if he gets down on his knees and prays to God as hard as he can and truly believes in what he is praying then in the morning when he wakes up for the first time he will finally be able to see!
The boy is immediately excited and instantly gets on his knees and prays to God as hard as he can, he prays and prays for hours as long as he can until his body can no longer take it and he falls fast asleep, the next morning the boy awakes and to his pure horror he lets out a terrifying scream, his mother quickly runs into the room to her son and says "Baby what's the matter!"
The boy cries "Mommy it didn't work!" I prayed as long and as hard as I possibly could but I still can't see, the boys mother approaches her son puts her arm around his shoulder and says
April Fools Dumbass!
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