The Queen's breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Sid revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Nathan the Erudite lawyer, the King's chief adviser. Nathan thought about this and said that he could arrange for Sid to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Sid readily agreed to the scheme. The...

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A w‌‌oman p‌‌regnant w‌‌ith t‌‌riplets walks into a bank.

Suddenly, a‌‌rmed m‌‌en s‌‌torm i‌‌n a‌‌nd t‌‌ry t‌‌o r‌‌ob t‌‌he b‌‌ank. A‌‌ s‌‌hootout o‌‌ccurs a‌‌nd t‌‌he w‌‌oman i‌‌s h‌‌it b‌‌y b‌‌ullets s‌‌everal t‌‌imes. Shortly a‌‌fter, t‌‌he w‌‌oman i‌‌s b‌‌rought t‌‌o t‌‌he h‌‌ospital a‌‌nd g‌‌ets e‌‌mergency s‌‌urgery. T‌‌he s‌‌urgeon i‌‌s a‌‌ble t‌‌o r‌‌emove a‌‌ll b‌‌ullets e‌‌xcept t‌‌hree d‌‌ue t‌‌o e‌‌ndangerment t‌‌o t‌‌he t‌‌riplets. The w‌‌oman g‌‌ets w‌‌ell s‌‌oon a‌‌nd g‌‌ives b‌‌irth t‌‌o t‌‌hree h‌‌ealthy t‌‌riplets, t‌‌wo g‌‌irls a‌‌nd o‌‌ne b‌‌oy. T‌‌he i‌‌ncident a‌‌t t‌‌he b‌‌ank...

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I tried hiding my boner

It was pretty hard...

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Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth one orders an eighth of a beer. At this point, the bartender has enough, poors the mathematicians two beers and says: "There you go, split them yourselves."...

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Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars. Einstein: asks a question. Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar. Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn. Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two? Einstein: Thinks hard for a while. Einstein says: I give up. Gives...

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I have a lot of jokes on unemployed people...

But none of them work...

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An old man applies for a job

HR Manager: what's your biggest weakness? Old Man: My honesty HR Manager: I don't think that's a weakness Old Man: I don't give a fuck what you think...

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