How do you survive a fall without a parachute?

Just like any other season...

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I don't like the term Anal Bleaching.

I prefer calling it Changing Your Ringtone....

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The p‌‌olice c‌‌alled t‌‌o t‌‌ell m‌‌e t‌‌hat m‌‌y w‌‌ife w‌‌as i‌‌n t‌‌he h‌‌ospital.

"How i‌‌s s‌‌he?", I‌‌ a‌‌sked. "Very c‌‌ritical", r‌‌eplied t‌‌he o‌‌fficer. "The f‌‌uck i‌‌s s‌‌he c‌‌omplaining a‌‌bout n‌‌ow?"...

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Geoffrey, a middle aged British tourist on his first visit to Germany finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, “No!” and walks quickly away. The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that...

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Yesterday, I approached a gorgeous girl, and she was pleased, which wasn't something I expected

I asked the girl for a movie. She : "Which movie"? with a sweet smile. Me : "You decide". She : "No, you should decide" Me : "No, you decide" She : "Sir, please select which movie ticket you want. There are others behind you in the line as well"...

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What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays....

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A married man was ashamed of his small dick.

To hide it from his wife, every night when they have sex, he turns off the light and uses a vibrator. One day his wife decided to turn on the light for a change and saw the man with the vibrator. She yelled, "What the hell are you doing, explain yourself!" He calmly replied, "I will if you explain the kids."...

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