Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Chủ Nhật, 19 tháng 7, 2020

I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own butt

So I got a mirror....

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back garden is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the...

Passenger: Why should I wear a mask if your’s works?

Driver: Damn good point (turns off headlights) Passenger: What are you doing? Its dark! Driver: Chill, the other cars have them on....

How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Meat Patty...

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee

Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"...

What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool ranch. (Written by my 9 yo daughter)....

A priest checks into a hotel room and says to the front desk "I hope the porn is disabled"

The front desk lady says to him "no, it's just normal porn you sick fuck"...