A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead: "I'm afraid he died last week," she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you," the wife replies, "he died last week." The day after he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?" "Cos" He replies laughing, "I just love hearing it..."...

Read More

A gray haired Army general walks into a hotel bar and sits down next to a young, attractive woman.

They hit it off, and she likes a man in uniform, so she says, “Why don’t you come up to my room?” The general says, “I’m flattered but at my age I’m not sure if things would work the way you hope.” She says, “But you’re in good shape...tell me, when was the last time you had sex?” “Oh...”,says the general...”it was probably 1950.” “Oh my gosh!”, says the woman. “Well I’m sure it will all come back to you.” So they end up in bed and it’s pretty wild. The general really has some skills. When it’s all over, she says, “General, that was wonderful!...

Read More

A Jew, an Hindu and Karen survive a plane crash in the woods

They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help. At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it. The Jewish man says: "Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and pick up our search in the morning" They knock on the door and an old man answers They explain the situation, and the old man says: "I'll be glad to have you stay the night, I even have a roast in my oven which is way too big for me to eat alone. Please come in." The three...

Read More

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without). He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember...

Read More

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't.

I don’t geddit. Eddits: Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“...

Read More

A bus carrying many ugly people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died.

Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also, and the man at the...

Read More

What’s the difference between acne and a priest?

Acne waits till you hit puberty before coming on your face...

Read More