Rick O’Shea
Thứ Năm, 23 tháng 7, 2020
Thứ Tư, 22 tháng 7, 2020
A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.
The officer looked in the back of Jeff’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”
Jeff replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”
“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.
The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.
“I did,” Jeff replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach."
Am I adopted?
Fred came home from University in tears.
"Mum, am I adopted?"
"No of course not", replied his mother. Why would you think such a thing?
Fred showed her his genealogy DNA test results. No match for any of his relatives, and strong matches for a family who lived the other side of the city.
Perturbed, his mother called her husband. "Honey, Fred has done a DNA test, and... and... I don't know how to say this... he may not be our son."
"Well, obviously!" he replied.
"What do you mean?"
"It was your idea in the first place" her husband continued. "You remember, that first night in hospital when the baby did nothing but scream and cry and scream and cry. On and on. And you asked me to change him."
"I picked a good one I reckon. Ever so proud of Fred."
Sometimes I like to put the punchline first
A lot of people asked me why the line for drinks is before the line for food, so I explained
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