FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
The husband buys the snails then pops into the pub for a quick drink. One thing leads to another and he stays for a few rounds, so many in fact, that by the time he leaves it's nine in the evening. Realizing he's extremely late the husband runs home, pours the snails over the path leading to his house, then he rings the bell. His furious wife opens the door. 'Where the hell have you been?' she screams. The husband waves back to the snails, 'Come on, lads!' he shouts 'We're nearly there!'
As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.
"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."
"Yesterday?!" she gasps. "How did they hit it off so quickly?"
"Well, he's a handsome man, a really nice guy, and a wonderful lover, of course. And to top it off," he says, leaning into a whisper, "he's got a 10-inch cock!"
She giggles, blushing. "Sounds like a catch! Where can I find him?"
"He's just a block over. But fair warning...he's also a little...kooky. He's only interested in women named after flowers. So if I ever meet a woman with a flowery name, I send her his way."
He points at the rose. "Then, he sends me a flower as a thank you. Yesterday was Rose. A week ago, I recommended Violet to him," he says, indicating a slightly wilted violet in a vase behind him.
The woman thanks him and leaves, bitterly cursing her own name. Undeterred, she visits the well-endowed florist's shop. Stepping up to the counter, she pointedly says, "I heard you are particularly...skilled... in certain areas?"
He smirks. "So I have been told. And who might you be?"
She grins. "I was referred by your friend down the street. Perhaps you can...assist me?"
"Perhaps," he says, "but tell me...what is your name?"
She hesitates. Then, pouting slightly, she replies "Kristen, but everyone calls me Kris."
His smile falters, and his head sinks as he shakes his head. Kris's heart drops, knowing she's blown her chance.
"Well then...if it's not too much trouble, I'd like some flowers for my mother."
"Of course, what kind of...." Suddenly, he brightens up again. Without another word, he locks the shop door, swoops upon her, and takes her into his arms.
Three hours of mind-altering orgasms later, she bids him goodbye with a kiss, as he presents a complimentary bouquet for her mother.
"And please," he says, "tell your sweet mama she is welcome to as many flowers from my shop as she would like."
Flustered with ecstasy, she promises to convey the message, and calls her mother that night to tell her everything.
The next day, Kris feels incredible, and stops by the original florist's shop.
"I just wanted to thank you for telling me about that dashing gentleman! He was AMAZING!"
He smiles sheepishly. "I suppose I should thank you too. I just got another beautiful flower for recommending you to him."
"Really? What flower could he have possibly sent that was named after me?"
The florist sighs. "Chrysanthemum."
AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. Hoe goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?