Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 9, 2020

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "It would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, who is only 1 foot tall, and a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin. Once he finishes, the bartender is in utter disbelief. He tells the man "You can have free drinks for the rest of the night, but only if you tell where you got this." The man says "In the alley way behind your bar,...

My favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandmother

until my mom took the urn from me....

My wife left me because I’m insecure.

No wait she’s back. She just went to get coffee....

There once was a farmer whose five quintuplet teenage daughters were going on dates at the same time.

"As soon as your dates arrive," said the farmer, "I will talk to them personally. If I don't like them, I will shoot them." Just then, a knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. "Who is this?" "My name's Teddy," said the boy. "I'm going steady with Betty. We're getting spaghetti. Is she ready?" "I don't see any harm in this guy," thought the farmer. So off went Teddy and Betty to get spaghetti. Just then, another knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. "Who is this?" "My name's...

I was complaining to my wife about our nonexistent sex life.

Zero fucks were given....

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?

...or with pajamazon?...

A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....

So she says to her baby "Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there" and points at the man sitting across from her 10 mins later "You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!" 5 mins later "Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man" At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells "FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"...