Two boys were misbehaving... ...so their mother went to the local priest to look for advice. The priest thought it would be best if the boys learned integrity, by way of understanding that "God is everywhere, and He sees everything you do so you shouldn't misbehave."

The mother and the priest thought it best that the priest talked to the boys, so the mother agreed to take the boys in one at a time to talk to the priest. She brought the first boy (Ray) to the church and left the second boy (Jim) at home. She took Ray into the priest's office and stayed outside while the priest and Ray talked. "Where is God?" The priest calmly asked expecting to make the point that "God is everywhere". Ray, petrified, said nothing. So the priest asked again slightly louder, "Where is God?!". Ray still said nothing. So the priest...

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According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had..

Oops... sorry, wrong thread....

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I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself...

my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"...

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A tale of two friends !!

One was a very bright student while the other one was quite dumb. The brighter one always helped the other passing exams be it a class test or end term exams. The teachers were quite furious with them and at last, called upon a meeting to discuss with the principal what could be done. All came to the conclusion that both of them will be interviewed separately and have to pass it in order to move onto a higher standard. First, the brighter student was interviewed. The panel asked him "When did India get its freedom ?". He answered, " the struggle...

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I taught a wolf to meditate

Now he’s aware wolf...

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I ran 3 miles yesterday

Eventually I just said “here keep your purse”...

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What do you call a group of rebellious ants?

Protestants...

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