He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
Thứ Ba, 15 tháng 12, 2020
A muscular man tries to impress a blonde...
So, the man brought the blonde into his apartment to possibly get a good night out of her.
He flexes his Triceps "This, right here, dynamite"
The blonde stares up, without saying a word.
He rolls his abs. "Dynamite"
The blonde still says nothing, only looking at him.
Eager to impress the woman, he cuts to the chase and takes of his pants. As soon as his boxers hit his ankles, the blonde runs out of the apartment. He naturally runs after and eventually catches up.
"Why were you running away? Did I upset you?" Asks the man.
"No," replies the blonde, "I just didn't want to be near all that dynamite with such a short fuse!"
A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!" Well, it was an immediate hit...
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.
Their first night there, she undressed as he did.
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning."
He knew he was not going to get lucky that night.
The following night was the same, she stood there wearing the black panties and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom.
She looked at him and asked, "What's with the black condom?"
He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
Thứ Hai, 14 tháng 12, 2020
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT GODDAMMIT!
Me: 911, what's the emergency?
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