Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus"
Thứ Năm, 17 tháng 12, 2020
Two boys were misbehaving... ...so their mother went to the local priest to look for advice. The priest thought it would be best if the boys learned integrity, by way of understanding that "God is everywhere, and He sees everything you do so you shouldn't misbehave."
The mother and the priest thought it best that the priest talked to the boys, so the mother agreed to take the boys in one at a time to talk to the priest.
She brought the first boy (Ray) to the church and left the second boy (Jim) at home. She took Ray into the priest's office and stayed outside while the priest and Ray talked.
"Where is God?" The priest calmly asked expecting to make the point that "God is everywhere". Ray, petrified, said nothing. So the priest asked again slightly louder, "Where is God?!". Ray still said nothing. So the priest stood up and slammed his hands on the desk yelling, "WHERE IS GOD?!?!". Ray stood up and ran out of the office, past his mother, and ran all the way home.
He came screaming in the front door and ran straight to Jim's room. He opened the door and said, "GOD IS MISSING AND THEY THINK WE TOOK HIM!".
A horse walks into a bar
And orders a beer. The bartender looks confused but pours him a cold one:
- That’ll be $25.
The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. The bartender is still in awe and says:
- You see, we don’t really have many horses coming in here.
To which the horse replies:
- With prices like these, I’m not surprised.
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replies, "That would be my wife."
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