Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.
Thứ Ba, 5 tháng 1, 2021
Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 1, 2021
The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded affirmatively...
"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"
The little boy nodded once more.
"So..." the coach continued. "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb asshole, is it?"
The little boy nodded yet again.
"Good." said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."
The Kansas police found a large number of dead crows on the 135 outside of Witchita today
There was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by vehicles.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus vehicle kills.
The Ornithological (Bird) Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"
Young couple at doctors office
Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,
"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need to know if there is some medical problem."
Doctor sat back on his chair crossed his hands and sighed,
"You boys are nuts."
Indian student in USA(NSFW)
It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said: "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up: ’Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.
'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish 'from the Earth?''
Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class: 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: 'F*** the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded.
Chandrasekhar put up his hand. 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said: 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks: 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says: 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells: 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher: 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said: 'You little shit. If you say anything more, I'll kill you.'
Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice: 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said: 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'
And Chandrasekhar said quietly: 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'
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