He got the money for nothing, and the chicks for free.
Thứ Ba, 12 tháng 1, 2021
An old Lithuanian joke (roughly translated)
Two men of which one had a really bad stutter decided to climb mount everest. They set up at the bottom, waved to everyone who came to wish them luck and started climbing... Around 8 hours of exhausting climbing later the one with the stutter goes "I-I-I f-f-f-f" the other one cuts him off and goes "You see that ledge up there? Once we get on it we'll take a rest, then you can say what you want." So they do, about 4more hours later they're at the ledge and he finally lets the stuttering man speak "I-I-I f-f-forg-got t-t-to p-p-p-pack the t-t-t-tents". His friend sighs in disappointment and anger, but seeing they have no choice they start climbing back down. About an hour later the stutter once again tries speaking "I-I-I w-w-w" but once again he is cut off by his friend, telling him to not waste his breath and speak once they're at the bottom, by the time they get down it it's the morning of the next day, both of them are exhausted and weak, the man looks at the stutter and goes "so what did you want to say back up there?", the stutter grins and goes "I-I-I w-w-was kid-d-ding"
When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend was cooking breakfast in nothing than a T-shirt...
...when I came downstairs, she told me she needed me to have sex with her right away...
Needless to say I was thrilled, so we did it right there in the kitchen...
...she immediately went back to cooking... we didn't usually do stuff like that, so I hesitantly asked, "so...what was that all about?"
She said, "I had 5 minutes left on the casserole, but the timer broke."
My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?
Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "
Ps: This sub in a nutshell
Thứ Hai, 11 tháng 1, 2021
My wife asked me “does these jeans make me look fat?”
I told her, “you promise not to get mad, no matter what I say?
Her: Yes
Me: Well... I fucked your sister
A couple goes to a sex therapist...
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from our healthcare rebate.
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