A man from Peru decided to visit America, although he spoke no English.

Upon reaching it, one of the first thing he did was go into a department store. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. “Quiero calcetines, (I want socks)" said the man. “I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. “No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want suits, I want socks.)" said the man. “Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. “No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines, (No I don't want shirts, I want socks.)"...

Read More

Translated from German, I hope this works: What’s 3x3?

No...

Read More

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Jehovah's Witness were driving through the countryside when their car broke down.

The only house in the vicinity was an old farmhouse, so they decided to stay there for the night. "I'm so sorry," said the farmer. "The bed in the guest room only has room for two people." So he volunteered the Jew to sleep in the barn. Five minutes later, the farmer heard a knock on the door. He opened the door, and there was the Jew. "What are you doing here?" asked the farmer. "I'm afraid I cannot sleep in the barn because there is a pig in the barn, and my religion considers pigs to be unclean animals." "Very well," said the farmer. "You can...

Read More

3 brothers enter the hospital room of their dying parents who have lived a long life of exploring and treasure hunting.

Their parents greet them, and tell them of the last adventure they were unable to complete. “There’s a cave down in South America, deep in the jungles of Brazil. Go there and find the treasure we have been searching for the last 20 years. We know the three of you will find it.” The brothers leave to prepare for their journey, their hearts heavy from their parents passing, but set with vindictive courage determined to find this mysterious cave. 3 years later the brothers are hopeless, having found no evidence of such a cave in the Brazilian jungles....

Read More

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.' The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever. The...

Read More

I caught two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window.

Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window....

Read More

What do you call it when you’re shopping for new eyebrows?

Browsing....

Read More