Backwards it spells gnihtoN which also means nothing.
Thứ Tư, 27 tháng 1, 2021
A man applies for a government job
A man goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now."
"Our normal hours are from 8 am to 4 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10 am and plan on starting at 10 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8 am to 4 pm, why don't you want me here until 10 am?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. So no point in your coming in for that."
Two prostitutes are standing on a corner.
One says, "Tonight is gonna be a good night. I can smell the dick in the air." The other says, "Sorry, I just burped."
A new supermarket opened near my house.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing, and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.
In the meat department, there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalising smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.
Thứ Ba, 26 tháng 1, 2021
Wrong E-Mail Address
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules together. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: .................................................................................
To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: August 14, 2017
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. Sure is hot down here!!!
Two guys are getting ready for a costume party...
But there's a catch: The host said they have to get dressed up as 'emotions.'
So the first guy goes home and sticks his dick in a pear.
The second guy goes home and sticks his dick in a big bowl of custard.
They show up at the party together and knock on the door. The host opens up the door and his mouth falls agape as he sees the two. "What the hell are you doing? What are these costumes!?"
The first guy looks at the host and says, "Yo, I'm deep in dis pair."
The second guy says, "I'm fuckin' dis custid."
Technology is the death of us
DEAR NEIGHBOR:
Hi, George. This is Richard, next door. I've a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text. I can't live with myself a minute longer without your knowing about this. The truth is, when you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day and night. Probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay you.
Richard
NEIGHBOR'S RESPONSE:
George, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. George then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi, George. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.
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