A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair to a retirement home for the first time. The nurse, expecting their arrival, greets them with, "Welcome to the Johnson family retirement home! We think you'll feel quite at home here! Please follow me and I'll show you around." The nurse pushes the old man in the wheelchair along with the daughter following close by.
"Over here we have the dining hall. We serve lunch and dinner every day, and we offer a varied and changing menu so you'll always have something new to choose from!" The old man says nothing, but slowly but steadily begins to fall to his left. The nurse, noticing immediately, grabs a pillow and wedges it on his left side to keep him from falling. The nurse then proceeds with the tour.
"Over here we have the recreation room. We have a ping pong table, tv, dart board, but if you prefer checkers or board games, we have those available as well!" Again, the old man says nothing, but just stares forward, and slowly but steadily begins falling to his right. The quick-thinking nurse once again wedges a pillow on his right to keep him from falling. The nurse then proceeds with the tour.
"And finally, this will be your room should you choose to stay with us. You won't have to share it with anyone else. We offer a king-sized single bed with an in-room mounted tv so you can also watch television in your own room if you wish. We have handicap accessible bathrooms in this small room adjacent, and for any and all your needs, we have a button you can press and we'll come to your every service right away!" The old man, still with a blank stare, begins to slowly but steadily fall forward, and the nurse catches him and props him back and places a pillow on his legs to prevent him from falling forward.
The nurse escorts them back to the entrance, and says, "Please let me know if the Johnson family retirement home would be the right place for you. I'll leave you to discuss privately." The nurse then returns to her desk. The daughter looks at her father and asks, "So? What do you think of the place?" The old man says, "I love the dining room, the recreation room, and the living quarters, but there's one thing that bothers me." The daughter leans in, "What's that?"
The old man replies, "Why won't they won't let me fart in this place?"
