Joe had a dog that he loved dearly. Only one problem - no matter what he did, he just could not get the dog to stop soiling the carpet. Joe tried everything, read every book on dog training, bought every device on the market. But the dog just refused to be housebroken. Finally, he saw an ad for a pet shop that guaranteed it help can train any pet to do just about anything its owner wants. Even though it sounded too good to be true, Joe gave it a try.
The pet shop was very weird. Inside, half the shop was full of bones and dog treats. The other half of the shop was full of dildos, sex toys, and lubricant. It seemed the shop sold both. In the middle, behind the register, was a pleasant-looking man holding an old leather book.
Joe asked if the man could help house train his dog.
“Sure can,” he said. “See, this here is a magical book. I can rent it out to you. All you do is read the first page to your dog. And then the book gives your dog whatever he wants in order for him to do whatever you’re trying to train him to do. Works just about every time. Just bring it back here when you’re done. Oh, and make sure you have plenty of space.”
Joe thanked the man and rented the book. A few days later he comes back with the old leather book in hand.
“Well, my dog is house trained now,” said Joe. “Only problem is my house is filled top to bottom with steaks. Thousands and thousands of steaks. What the hell am I supposed to do with all that meat?”
“Do the same thing I did,” said the shopkeeper. “Open a business. My dog wanted more treats than he could ever possibly eat. And it turns out my cat wanted me to go fuck myself.”
