Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 4, 2021

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whisky

He gulps them down quickly. Bartender asks "What's the occasion?" Guy replies "First blowjob" Bartender "Wow, can I buy you another?" Guy retorts "No, if 3 don't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will"...

A girl comes up to her stepdad and asks to borrow his car.

The stepdad denies her so she begs and begs and begs until finally the stepdad says, “fine, I’ll let you borrow the car if you drop on your knees and suck my dick.” Disgusted, she turns around and goes back to her room. 30 mins later, she comes back to ask again because she really needs to borrow his car. He says “Ok, but you still have to suck my dick!” She agrees, “fine but you better not tell anyone!” She drops to her knees and puts his dick in her mouth but instantly pops up on her feet. “Ew! Your dick taste like shit!” The father then remembers,...

What to pick

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom" "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."...

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

The priest is in jail now....

A man walks into a bar and orders 5 Whiskeys and downs them incredibly quickly.

The barman says "That was quick!" "You'd drink them quickly if you had what I had..." replies the man. "Ohh, what's that?" said the barman sympathetically. The man answers "no money."...

If you think Friday is a sad day, I’ve got some bad news for you.

Tomorrow is Sadder Day....

The Marine on the Train

A Marine boarded a train on his way home from deployment. The train was quite crowded, and the Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed middle-aged French woman, but when he got there he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude.. My little Fifi is using that seat.." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that...