Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 6, 2021

How do you get the attention of a pervert? [NSFW]

Use an nsfw tag...

A married couple leaves a formal event

He's in a tuxedo, she's in a gown. He's been drinking. He starts the car but doesn't put on his seat belt. "Please, darling," the wife says, "you've been drinking. Put on your seat belt." "Not when I'm wearing a tuxedo," he says. They drive to an intersection. Across from them is a police car. "He's going to see you're not wearing your seat belt," she says. "Nonsense," he says. The light turn green and the cop pulls them over. The husband hurriedly fastens on his seat belt. 'Sir, were you wearing that seat belt a moment ago?" asks the cop. "Of...

I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort....

A jew visits a brothel

He talks to the guy at reception: Hello, I want to see Samantha. One moment sir. A beautiful young woman comes downstairs. -Have you asked for me? Yes, I want to spend the night with you. Alright but my service is a bit expensive. $1000 for a night. Doesn't matter, I want to spend the night with you. They go upstairs and spend the night together. Next day, the man comes to the brothel again. He says: I want to see Samantha. Sir, we do have other prostitutes as well. I don't care, I want to see Samantha. They call Samantha...

Best Husband Ever!

The Perfect Husband: Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello” WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes” WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?” MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.” WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2021 models. I saw one I really liked.” MAN:...

Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 6, 2021

A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.

As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally. Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elephant Squire had ten sons, but the Hippo Squire was childless. The Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire sent there eighteen sons to kill the Hippo Squire, but the Hippo Squire drew his sword and single-handedly slaughtered all eighteen of them. And thus, it...

A cowboy is captured by indians. The chief tells the cowboy they'll grant 3 requests before they scalp him

The cowboy thinks a minute then says, " I wish to say goodbye to my horse then to set him free." So they bring him his horse, he whispers in its ear then sets him off into the sunset. He tells the chief he needs to mull over the third request and the chief agrees to wait until sunset. As the sun dips in the sky, here comes the horse back, with a beautiful brunette in the saddle. "Is this your last request?" the chief asks. "Uh, no," says the cowboy. "My last request is to say goodbye to my horse once more." "Ok..." says the chief. The cowboy leans...