The Bible and the Quran tell us to love each other

The Kamasutra is more specific....

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One big difference between men and women is that

When Women Say "Smell This", It Usually Smells Nice....

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Success is like being pregnant.

Everyone says congratulations, but nobody knows how many times you got fucked....

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Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?

Because she’s too big for B shells...

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Siri, why am I so bad with women?

'This is Alexa''...

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After a bitter divorce, while cleaning out the attic to prepare for selling their dream home, a genie pops out of a dust covered item.

“I will grant you three wishes of anything your heart desires” says the genie, “but know that your ex will receive twice whatever you wish for” Ok, I’m losing my dream home, I wish for the most glorious mansion complete with staff to serve my every whim. DONE! You are the owner of one of the most luxurious estates in the world with the greatest staff who you will get on with wonderfully, to be sure..... and your ex is in possession of two such mansions, one for summer and one for winter Ok, well if I’m to be smart about this there will be house...

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I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numbers

IM LIVID...

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