It was an eye-opening, shocking experience. The poverty, the starvation, the fighting.... the smell, the noise....
I am never flying economy again.
Chủ Nhật, 20 tháng 6, 2021
The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife!
He said, "Why? Is she super-hot too?
I said, "No, she's an optometrist!"
Arguing with your wife…
is like reading a software licensing agreement.
In the end you just ignore everything and click “I agree”.
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"Shes in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.
Unexpectedly, an artist's wife starts having sex with him every day.
Though quite unusual, he didn't question his luck, deciding to just enjoy the ride.
One day, his wife approached him. "Honey? Can you sketch a picture for me?"
"Of course!" he replied. "What should I draw?"
"What you think our baby will look like."
He stared back at her, eyes wide. Then, sighing heavily, he grabbed a pencil and pad, quickly sketched out a picture, and pushed it toward her.
"What the hell is this?" she laughed, surveying the page. It was just a stick figure firing a gun at another stick figure, smiling, with no wounds showing on his stick body. "I asked you to imagine what our baby would look like!" she repeated.
"And I got a vasectomy five years ago," he said. "So I drew a blank."
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