When it's wet, it's time to go inside
Thứ Bảy, 10 tháng 7, 2021
An 88-Year Old Woman was interviewed by the local News after getting married for the fourth time...
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.
“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.
“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She told him she’d first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster in her 40s, later on a preacher in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and would be IMMENSELY good in bed".
Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts.
Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
A wife strips naked in front of her husband and says, "when I did this 30 years ago, what did you think?"
He replies, I was thinking I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out."
She asks "And what are you thinking now?"
"Looks like I did a good job."
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive. Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single- line coded message: 370HSSV – 0773H. Trump was baffled, so he scanned it and emailed it to his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked the MSS (Ministry of State Security in China) for help. Within a few seconds the MSS cabled back with this reply: “Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
Vladimir Putin visits a primary school one day
And he gives a lecture about how great the government is, and how Russia is the best country in the world. At the end of the lecture he invites people to ask questions and one kid stands up and says “Hello my name is Sasha and I have two questions” Putin: “go ahead” Sasha: “Why did Russia sent troops to Ukraine and why did Russia annex Crimea? ” At that moment the bell rang and everyone went to lunch.
At the end of lunch the Q&A continued and another kid stood up “My name is boris and I have four questions” Putin: “Yes?” Boris: “Why did Russia sent troops to Ukraine, why did Russia annex Crimea, why was the bell 20 minutes early and where is Sasha?”
Đăng ký:
Nhận xét (Atom)