Because a toothbrush works better.
Thứ Ba, 13 tháng 7, 2021
A man walked by a restaurant in London
He noticed all the customers drinking tea in saucers.
He asked one of them as to why he was drinking tea in a saucer.
With tears in his eyes, he replied, “The Italians have taken away our cup"
Thứ Hai, 12 tháng 7, 2021
Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, they said unto him this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
And Jesus said unto them, Let any one of you who is without sin cast the first stone.
At this, those who had heard turned to leave; but one woman picked up a rock and threw it with great force at the head of the harlot, killing her instantly.
Jesus looked at the woman and said, "Mom, what the fuck?"
As Jack was marrying Jill, his father gave him some advice “Son, when I got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was strip her naked, take off my pants...
Then, I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' ...Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem."
Jack took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night.
Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Jack. “Try these on,” she said. Jack went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small.
“What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Jack.
“Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!"
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
The Pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him
Finally, he was brought to an old physician. After about an hour’s examination he came out and told the cardinalsthat he had some good news and some bad news.
The bad news was that the Pope had a rare disorder of the testicles. The good news was that all the Pope had to do to be cured was have sex.
Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length.
Finally, they went to the Pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the Pope stated, “I agree, but under four conditions.”
The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over the noise a
single voice asked, “And what are the four conditions?”
The room stilled. There was a long pause.
The Pope replied, “First, the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see who she
is having sex with.
Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear who she is having sex with.
And third, she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out who she is
having sex with, she can tell no one.”
After another long pause a voice arose and asked, “And the fourth condition?”
The Pope replied, “Big tits.”
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