The man replied: “Wow how did you know that ?”
Cashier: “ Because you’re fucking ugly”
Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 7, 2021
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said "It's my husband!. Quick, try the backdoor!" .
Thinking back, I really should have run but you don't get offers like that every day.
A man arrives home at his local airport...
He hails the first taxi off the rank and says "how much out to the suburbs?"
"Sixty bucks" comes the reply.
"I've only got twenty in my pocket. When we get to my house, I'll give you the difference plus a big tip." says the traveller
"Nope" Says the cabbie firmly.
The next week he flies in again and sees the same driver this time third in the line.
He goes up to the first cab in the queue and asks how much to the suburbs, "sixty bucks". The traveller adds "If I throw in an extra hundred will you suck my cock?"
"Fuck you!"
He goes to the second taxi, same question and is met with a "Go to hell!"
He finally reaches the third cab and climbs into the back.
As they drive past the first two he gives them a wink and a big smile.
God will protect me from COVID-19.
A good Christian man walked into Walmart and was offered a mask by the store greeter. The man politely declined saying God would protect him from Covid. Later the man went to his doctor for a routine check up. The doctor told him everything is fine and they also have all three different types of the Covid vaccine if he would like one. Again the man politely declined saying God would protect him from Covid. A few weeks later the man fell very ill. He went back to his doctor and to his disbelief was diagnosed with Covid and admitted to the hospital. After days of holding on he finally fell victim to his illness. When the man reached the gates of heaven God was there waiting for him. The man asked God why he didn't protect him from Covid? God looked at him and said, I had people offer you free masks and three different vaccines to choose from you dummy. Also you're going to have to quarantine in hell for a few weeks.
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other on an aeroplane.
The woman sneezes and right after she is done she shudders and moans.
The man asks,"Are you alright? Because the sneezing seems normal but the shuddering and shivers... Not very much."
The woman replies,"Oh yeah, I have this rare condition where I orgasm every time sneeze."
-"That sure is a very rare condition. What are you taking for it?"
Woman: "Pepper"
My wife said to me “If I ever get
Alzheimers I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me"
I said "Thats the fifth time you've said that today"
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