[NSFW] Wonder Woman is laying naked, face down, on a rooftop...

...when Superman flies by and sees her. Her naked body has him feeling all types of ways, so he starts to think, "You know, I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I could be in and out of there before she even realizes what happened." So, Superman flies in, does his business and takes off. Wonder Woman says, "What was that?" The Invisible Man responds, "I don't know, but my fucking ass is killing me."...

Read More

In the future, Donald Trump passes away from a heart attack.

He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Donald thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Barack Obama and a large pool of water. Barack kept diving in,...

Read More

Guy gets to prison, meets his new cell mate, this jacked motherfucker, British sitting at the edge of the bed.

Cell mate: (British Accent) Listen mate it’s going to happen, so let’s get this over and done with, would you like to do it with spit or without? Guy: (Scared) What do you mean? Cell mate: Would you like to do it with spit or without? Guy: Well fuck, if I have to I guess I will do it with spit. Cell Mate: Okay. (Yells) Hey spit he wants you in as well. (Found This On a Podcast)...

Read More

My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a shag, has great tits and even swallows.

But her bird collecting has gone far enough now....

Read More

“What’s your name, son?” a principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.”

“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a stutter and the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”...

Read More

Old Soviet joke about two missiles

So USSR and the US finally go to nuclear was. They each fire a missile at each other to while the other out. The two missiles meet each other over half way to their destination. "Comrade US missile", the USSR one says, "We are about to kill millions of people, let's stop and have a drink." "That's a good idea", says the US missile. The USSR one pulls out a bottle of vodka and they have two tall ones for the ones they will kill. "Comrade US missile", The USSR missile says again. "You know, from destruction come new beginnings. Let us drink to that." "OK...

Read More

Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex

The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I've slept with more than 1,000 women!” Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest rated hospital in the world. I make $800,000 a year, have patients and nurses who have sex with me every hour I’m at work. All the women compliment me on my 12 inch penis and I've slept with well over 5,000 women.” Last guy chuckles, “I have you all beat....

Read More