A soldier ran up to a nun

A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked: "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied: "He went that way." After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq." The nun said: "I understand completely." The soldier added: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The...

Read More

The Italian Math Challenge

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.' 'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he proceeds to draw three trees. 'What's this?' the boss asks. 'Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the Italian. 'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.' The Italian stares into space for a while,...

Read More

Two men, Joe and bob, both virgins, died and went to heaven.

God introduces them to the heaven! “Congrats, you get to enjoy eternal life in heaven. But you have one rule, never eat apples from the forbidden tree” As god pointed to the tree full of delicious apples. “Uh, what happens if someone eats from it?” Asked Joe. God replies, “well, um, you’ll still be allowed to stay in heaven, I’ll just be very annoyed.” God then says to the men, “I know you two have been virgins your entire life. So as a reward for all the good deeds you’ve done, I’ll find both of you a wife to enjoy eternity with in heaven.” While...

Read More

What do you call the fear of giants?

FeeFiPhobia...

Read More

What do you call a license to cum?

A spermit...

Read More

I'm sorry I used your soap to masturbate.

I just had to come clean....

Read More

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven: When they get there, St. Peter says....

....”We only have one rule here in heaven, don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes...

Read More