I know he means well...
Thứ Năm, 5 tháng 8, 2021
Jill decides to take her husband Jack to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Jack! How ya doin'?"
Jill is puzzled and asks if he has been to this club before. "Oh no," says Jack. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Jack if he would like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
Jill is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Jack, and says "Hi Jack ! Want your...
A man arrives at a hotel after a long train journey, exhausted. He comes into a communal room and sees three other guys who are drunk and talking loudly.
They are cracking anti-government jokes and laughing at Khrushchev. The man is annoyed that he can't sleep so he hatches a plan. He walks out into a corridor and asks a staff member to bring him a cup of tea. He then comes back into the room and starts talking to the noisy fellows:
"Comrades, you shouldn't joke like that here. Every room is bugged, you know..."
"Nonsense! Who would listen to us?" "Well, let me show you"
The man walks up to a socket and says into it: "Comrade major, can I have a cup of tea please?"
Sure enough, the staff member...
A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...
A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.
"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"
"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.
She blushed and said, "That was wonderful. Can I be very frank with you? Because of my condition, I've only ever been kissed once in my life and that hug was so great, would you do me a favor of giving me a kiss, too?"
"Of course," he said, and laid along, slow, passionate kiss upon her lips. He held her tightly...
Thứ Tư, 4 tháng 8, 2021
A guy in a bar bets the bartender $100 that he can lick his eyeball
The bartender agrees
The man takes his glass eye out, and bites it
The bartender angrily gives the man his money
The man bets the bartender $300 dollars that he can bite his other eyeball too
The bartender agrees to the bet, because the man was not blind
The man pulls out his dentures and lightly chomps them on his other eyeball
The bartender is fuming, but gives the man his money
The man then orders a beer, and walks away
The man walks back, and bets the bartender $2,000 that he can piss directly into a shot glass while running, with 2 attempts
The...
Young man moves into an apartment block….
On the first day he discovers the neighbour across the hall is a stunningly beautiful girl with a gorgeous body.
One day he’s just about to enter his apartment and his neighbour opens her door, she is just wearing a black lace negligee with matching panties, he can’t help but stare.
She smirks and starts making small talk , all the while flirting and leaning forward letting him glimpse her bare breasts. She suddenly grabs his arm, looks along the hallway and says “ I hear someone coming maybe you better come in my apartment “.
The man nods, follows...
A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.
They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”
“Well,” said the man, “to tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”...
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