FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.
Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"
This couple goes to an agriculture show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen, this bull produced 60 times last year." The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That more than five times a month!" The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year." Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison. The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!" The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!?!" The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same cow!"
A passenger plane is flying through the Himalayas. Suddenly, a giant mountain appears. It does not seem like that the plane is able to fly over the mountain.
The pilot says: "Dear passengers, please stay calm. Due to exceeding our weight limit, our plane is not flying at our desired altitude. So in order to gain more altitude and fly over this mountain, we have to discard all the luggage."
The passengers, though very unhappy about it, are more concerned about their safety. So after the luggage is discarded, the plane is able to fly over the mountain. Everybody claps.
However, another mountain appears, thus one even higher than the last one.
Pilot: "Dear passengers, we sadly have not reached our desired altitude yet. Thus, we have to throw out all your backpacks, laptops, and other loose objects in order to lose weight."
Same with last time, the passengers do as told, so the plane gains altitude and flies over the mountain. Everybody claps.
Finally, an unbelievably high mountain appears, easily topping the first two.
Pilot: "Dear passengers, I am sad to inform you that we do not have the necessary altitude to pass this mountain. Furthermore, we have discarded nearly everything. But fear not, this plane is able to detach its floor to lose even more weight! However, you have to hold on to the handrails on the ceiling until the end if the flight. I am sorry there is no other choice..."
The passengers do as told and grab on to the handrails while the floor is being detached. With that done, the plane passes the mountain.
Pilot: "We have now passed the last mountain. Thank you very much for your cooperation!"
Everybody claps.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.
The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face.
The lion enters the campsite and lets out a huge roar. He yells, "did anyone see a gorilla run through here?"
The gorilla, in full disguise, calls out, "you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?"
The lion exclaims, "oh my god! It's in the paper already?"
The captors then grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair in the next room too and torture him for 4 hours before he finally cracks and tells them what they want to know.
They then grabbed the Italian spy. Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 hours go by and the spy isn’t talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.
The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.
The Italian spy says, ” I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands."