so he could fit the rest of the socks in her drawer.”
Thứ Năm, 12 tháng 8, 2021
A man goes into a local bookstore and asks the young lady assistant,
"Do you have the new book out for men with small penises?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copy…"
A man with a gun walks into a bar.
Everyone ducks for cover.
He screams, "Who the fuck had sex with my wife?"
Hearing this, the bartender said meekly, "You don't have enough bullets."
A woman asked why her husband had been coming up with so many silly dad jokes recently. He admitted to her that, since they had kids, their sex life had grown a bit stale. Laughing, she grabbed a peach from the kitchen counter and pulled him toward her.
Slowly, seductively, she ate it while staring into his eyes, sucking the last of the pulp from the pit.
Then, while he stared on in disbelief, she used the pit to masturbate to completion, moaning all the while as she longingly stared at him.
When she finished, she gently beckoned him with her finger. He stood over her, slack-jawed, as she leaned back on the counter.
"So, what do you think about that, Mr. Dad Jokes?" she said with a smirk.
He grinned. "That...was mother fucking hard core."
I had an ex-girlfriend that liked it in the ear
"How the hell did you find that out?" asked my friend.
"Every time I tried to put it in her mouth she'd turn her head!"
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