If "womb" is pronounced "woom", "tomb" is pronounced "toom" then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced...

"BOOM" I hope that blew your minds. It would be r/funny if this post blows up....

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Why isn't Holy Water used in vaccines ?

Because, you can't take the Lords name in vein....

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My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her.

I swam up to the surface instead....

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I witnessed an actual murder in real life and didn't tell anyone about it.

Crows are common in my area so it wasn't a big deal....

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Two girlfriends talk

So, Stacy, have you tried ... you know ..., the other hole with your boyfriend? Are you crazy?! We don't want any kids! ...

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Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead...

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Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time." Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody." Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like...

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