I bought a book called "how to scam people on-line"

This was three months ago and it still hasn't arrived ?...

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A wife is complaining about her husband spending all his time at the local tavern, so one night he takes her along with him.

"What'll ya have?" he asks. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replies. So the husband orders a couple of Jack Daniels and gulps his down in one go. His wife watches him, then takes a sip from her glass and immediately spits it out. "Yuck! It tastes awful, worse than awful!" she splutters. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go!" cries the husband. "And you think I am out enjoying myself every night!"...

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I'm hosting a charity event for men struggling to ejaculate.

If you can't come, let me know....

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TIL Texas is called the lone star state

because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system...

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Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - because we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved 25 miles to Wexford. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has...

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A man meets his Tinder date at a carnival.

"There's so many games!" he said, "What do you wanna do?" "I wanna get weighed." she says, shyly looking at the ground. They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal. "What next?" he asks. "I wanna get weighed." she says, confidently looking at him. They return to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins... nothing... The vendor has a good memory. "What now?" he asks, a bit annoyed at the repeat activity. She looks at the man, holding his gaze and carefully says "I. Wanna. Get. WEIGHED." He ends the date right there and...

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Stalin is giving a speech, and someone sneezes.

Stalin looks up from his notes and says, "Who sneezed?" No-one says anything. Stalin has the first row taken away by KGB to be shot. "Who sneezed?" he asks again. No-one says anything. He has the second row of the audience taken away by the KGB to be shot. "Comrade Stalin, I sneezed!" Says a man in the third row. Stalin looks at the man and says; "Bless you."...

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