TO MAKE MERICA GRATE AGAIN...
Chủ Nhật, 15 tháng 4, 2018
A family had invited the daughter's boyfriend to dinner for the first time
While preparing the dinner, they begin discussing who will do the dishes afterwards.
"It's my salary you're living on, I do not want to do the dishes," says the father in the family.
"I did it last monday," said the girl.
And mom replied, "I'm the one who cooks the food!"
It's quiet in the kitchen for a while, until mom gets an idea: "I know how we'll do. The first one to talk does the dishes"
A quarter passes in absolute silence before hearing the daughter's boyfriend arrive on his bicycle. He has an old bike that makes a squeaking noise every...
Thứ Bảy, 14 tháng 4, 2018
A humble farmer goes out to his mailbox, seeing that a letter has arrived.
"Dear Ronald J. Kse, This year we have chosen you to be the host of this year's harvest reap! All you need to do is provide your humble farm as the place of the party, and we will all provide. Thanks, your neighbors" Now, Ronald had really enjoyed last year's party, so he was delighted to be the host for this year. After a grand day of eating, drinking, and merrymaking, All of Ronald's neighbors left - without helping clean up. "That's fine, its just one party, and I've done the same other years" said Ron.
Fast forward the next year, Ron was looking...
Right before surgery the surgeon says: "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."
The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."...
A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.
Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100."
The one says to the other, "should we do it??" The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?" The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it." So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says "well, did you get the money?" He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it??"...
A family is having dinner at the table one evening, when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?" The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering...
"Well, my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they become like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. But after 50, her breasts become like onions."
The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"
The father replies, "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
The wife and daughter are really annoyed by what their father has said, so the daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?"
The mother smiles and says, "Well honey, a man also goes through...
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