What do they call Pringles in Spain?

Prespañol...

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In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone"

They call it the "Pal Region"...

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Comrade Stalin is giving a speech...

Inspired by the recent post by /u/JTRuno: Comrade Stalin is giving a speech to a packed house when someone in the crowd - a factory worker named Boris - sneezes. Stalin stops. He sets down his notes and asks "who sneezed?". Silence. You could hear a pin drop. "I ask again; who sneezed?" In the fifth row Boris starts to sweat. "Last chance..." Boris is sweating bullets. Stalin is visibly annoyed. "Very well. Commissars, take the first row out and shoot them." Political officers draw their pistols and take the first row of the auditorium at gunpoint....

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A priest, a rabbit, and a bishop go to donate blood...

The nurse: What is your blood type? The rabbit: I’m probably a Type-O....

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If i had nickel for every time a woman thought i was ugly

They would find me atractive...

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After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response....

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I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]...

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