The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.

"Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..." "No, I must see Natalie." Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.. The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and...

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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, its just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed,...

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Why do Texas women make sandwiches with their left hands?

Because they have no rights....

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I have an addiction to brake fluid.

The good news is I can stop anytime I want....

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What’s an example of a palindrome?

Daughter: What's an example of a palindrome? Dad: Mom. Daughter: Ugh. Fine. Mom, what's an example of a palindrome? Mom: Dad. Daughter: OHMYGOD WHY WON'T YOU GUYS HELP ME...

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I saw an old man dip his balls into glitter

It was pretty nuts...

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I bought a book called "how to scam people on-line"

This was three months ago and it still hasn't arrived ?...

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