Chủ Nhật, 16 tháng 11, 2014

Man Seeks Help Removing Ghost Cat From Washing Machine

Any ideas?



Note: not actual ghost cat (probably???).


Flickr: bonniecothran / Creative Commons


An excerpt:


THERE IS A FUCKING CAT HAUNTING MY FUCKING WASHING MACHINE AND I WANT IT TO GTFO.


So anyone have tips on how to do that?? I've tried everything I can think of and everything I can find online about how to get rid of ghosts, I'm talking candles and mirrors and weird rituals with herbs I can't pronounce and crucifixes and other stupid ridiculous shit and NOTHING WORKS and I even went to ask a priest at the church down the block but he just looked at me like I was crazy and I asked the fucking 1-800-PSYCHIC MEDIUM SCAMMER CHICK on the road to work but she said she only deals with humans, and is THAT the problem?


HOW DO YOU EXORCIZE [sic] A CAT?? IS THERE A WAY TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE FELINE UNDEAD???


-HOW DO I KNOW THERE IS A CAT: BECAUSE IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE A CAT WHEN IT CRIES ALL FUCKING NIGHT.


-HOW DO I KNOW IT IS IN THE WASHING MACHINE: BECAUSE IT CRIES ALL FUCKING NIGHT AND WHEN I GET UP TO SEARCH FOR THE SOURCE OF THE SOUND ITS THE GODDAMN WASHING MACHINE. It also cries harder when I wash my clothes.


-HOW DO I KNOW IT IS A GHOST: BECAUSE THERE ARE NO ACTUAL FUCKING CATS IN MY WASHING MACHINE. Or even in my apartment. I asked the neighbors and they don't have cats either, they can't hear any cats, cats are not allowed in the building, THERE ARE NO FUCKING ACTUAL CATS.




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