Thứ Ba, 16 tháng 12, 2014

The Story Of Hanukkah, As Told By Sloths

Happy Slothukkah!


So one day, the Second Temple in Jerusalem was looted, services were stopped and Judaism was outlawed. And Jews were like, "WAIT, WHAT?"


So one day, the Second Temple in Jerusalem was looted, services were stopped and Judaism was outlawed. And Jews were like, "WAIT, WHAT?"


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Then in 167 B.C., this dude named Antiochus was like "Yo, I'm going to build a Zeus altar in here, 'cause he's my boy and also you can't do circumcision and I'm going to sacrifice some pigs over there, that chill?"


Then in 167 B.C., this dude named Antiochus was like "Yo, I'm going to build a Zeus altar in here, 'cause he's my boy and also you can't do circumcision and I'm going to sacrifice some pigs over there, that chill?"


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Obviously, this was NOT chill. And in 166 B.C. a Jewish priest, Mattathias was like:


Obviously, this was NOT chill. And in 166 B.C. a Jewish priest, Mattathias was like:


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And he gathered his 5 sons and was like, "Yo, boys. We gotta fight this bullshit."


And he gathered his 5 sons and was like, "Yo, boys. We gotta fight this bullshit."


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