Scottish Flirting

A couple went out to the pub in Scotland for a few drinks. The boyfriend went to the loo, leaving his girlfriend alone at the bar.

A sauced fellow approaches her at the bar. "Wow," he says in his thick accent, "you're so beautiful! If yous was my girlfriend, I'd kiss ye all over!"

The girl, offended, retorts, "Ye can't say that to me! When my boyfriend comes back, he'll beat ye on up!"

The man says, "That's not all! If yous was me girlfriend, I'd take yer shirt off and slap yer titties around!"

She says, "Ye can't say that to me! When me boyfriend comes back, he'll beat ye on up!"

He says, "Well that's not all! If yous was me girlfriend, I'd fill your pussy with beer and drink it all up!"

She says, essentially shouting now, "Ye can't say that to me! When me boyfriend comes back, he'll beat your ass bloody!"

The man leaves, walking across the bar as the girl's boyfriend returns from the loo. She tells him everything the man said to her. "Ye won't believe what this man said to me! He said if he was me boyfriend, he'd kiss me all over!"

The boyfriend says, enraged, "Where is this fucker? I'll beat him on up!"

She says, "That's not all! He said if he was me boyfriend, he'd take me shirt off and slap me titties around!"

"I'll kick this lad's ass up through his neck," her boyfriend seethes.

"That's not all!" says the girlfriend, "he said if he was me boyfriend he'd fill me pussy with beer and drink it all up!"

The boyfriend goes silent and throws a bill on the bar. "C'mon honey, we're leaving."

"Why?" she says, "I thought you were gonna beat him bloody!"

"Honey," he says, looking her in the eye. "I won't be fightin' a man that can drink that much beer."