A zoo was having a lot of trouble with a female gorilla

The gorilla was in heat, but they had no male to couple her with. As she was getting more violent and aggressive by the hour, they tried to contact other zoos for a male, but none were available in a short amount of time.

Desperate, the zoo director calls John the janitor into his office.

• 'John, you've been with us for a long time, but today I have an unusual question for you. We can't calm this gorilla down and I'm afraid for the safety of the zoo. John, will you... ahem... screw this gorilla? For, say, 500 dollars?'

John seriously thinks about it for a while and then replies:

• 'Sir, I will do it, but I have 3 conditions.'

• 'Yeah John, of course, just name them!' says the relieved director.

• 'First, this matter stays here in this office. I do this, nobody but you, me and the gorilla knows about it!'

• 'Well absolutely John, it's only normal!'

• 'Second, just so we're clear, I'll only screw the damn gorilla. No kissing, fondling or spooning!'

• 'I think that will be enough John, of course!' the director smiles. 'What about the third condition?

• 'Well...,' John is suddenly lowering his voice and looks down ashamed, 'I'll have to give you those 500 dollars at my next pay.'