A tough piece of back tarmac is having a pint at the bar.

The bartender notices a muscled red piece of tarmac enter the bar, and asks the black piece if he could take him in a fight.

'Of course mate, he's a fucking bus lane.'

A little while later, a blue piece of tarmac enters the bar. The bartender again asks if the black piece could beat him up.

'Listen, he's a fucking disabled parking space. No problem.'

Shortly after, a green piece of tarmac enters the bar, and once again the bartender asks if the black piece is tougher.

'Oi, keep your bloody voice down! I'm not messing with that guy, he's a fucking cycle path!'