A Doctor....
Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 1, 2018
We're in trouble
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with North Korea.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given...
I was sitting in a bar!
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”
One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”
So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”
That’s about as far as I remember....
I met a 14 year old girl on the internet...
She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy.
I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?...
A man walks into a bar and sees two pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling...
Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds...
'Black Panther' Just Had Its Premiere — Here's How People Responded
'Black Panther' Just Had Its Premiere — Here's How People Responded
There's a little over two weeks left to wait until "Black Panther" hits theaters, but a lucky group got to see it in Hollywood last night. Here's how they reacted to the film.
January 31, 2018 at 02:49AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2Eq0z...
Old age
“Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there nothing comes out.”
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee...
There were three POWs together in a British prison in the Second World War, a German, a Japanese, and an Italian.
The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others what he had done and urged them to be stronger than he was.
They next began torturing the Japanese man. Through all the pain and agony, he stayed strong for three days, but in the end, talked. He was sent back to the prison, having brought shame to himself, his family, and his country.
They finally sent in the Italian. For an unending three weeks, they tortured him, until...
Why women make better assassins.
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your...
Thứ Ba, 30 tháng 1, 2018
philosopher, a mathematician, and a physicist were at starbucks.
The mathematician turns to the physicist sitting next to him and says "You know, physics is just applied mathematics!"
They all have a good laugh, at which point the philosopher interjects from across the table. "And mathematics is just applied philosophy!"
The laughter roars even louder, and then the physicist turns to the philosopher.
"Shut the fuck up and make my coffee."...
In high school I was best friends with a pair of Chinese twins, Ving and Ling.
Ving truly hated his name and wanted to change it to Lee, as in Bruce Lee, but Ling kept trying to convince him not to do it since it was a big part of their heritage.
One day he decided it was finally time to go through with it, so me and Ling accompanied him to the courthouse, while Ling kept trying to dissuade him.
Ving filled out all the paperwork and submitted it, but instantly regretted his decision. He was told that since the paperwork had already gone through he'd had to pay an extra fee to undo his name change.
Ling was so happy that...
Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:
Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the “right sock,” no matter where it is located in the universe....
Searching for an Alzheimer’s cure while my father slips away
Searching for an Alzheimer’s cure while my father slips away
At the beginning, we searched frantically for any medical breakthrough that might hint at a cure. Then hope gave way to the unbearable truth.
January 29, 2018 at 09:03AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rNsz...
An elderly couple next to me are talking to each other at a restaurant.
As they are talking, the man keeps calling his wife the sweetest names like Honey, Deer, Sweetie ect ect ect. When his wife excused herself to use the bathroom, I leaned over and said "I love how you talk to your wife. You call her the nicest things. It appears you two have been married for quite some time. How do you keep the spark going?" He replies "I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm too afraid to ask her what it is"....
My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...
He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."
Graduated top of his class......
When I...
A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders a drink.
After that, he orders another drink and yells "When I get another drink, everybody gets another drink!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders another drink.
After finishing the drink, the man orders a sandwich and yells "When I eat, everybody eats!". Everybody rushes to the counter and orders food.
After eating the sandwich, the man buys a cigarette and yells "When I get a smoke, everybody gets a smoke!"....
There was a man nicknamed Onestone
He was given that name as he only had one testicle. One day he was tired of everyone calling him that and he proclaimed that he would kill anyone who called him that from now on. Years went by, no one dared to call him onestone. However, a woman named Yellowbird forgot and called out to him shouting the dangerous name.
Onestone took her into the forest and made love to Yellowbird day and night until she died from exhaustion. Now word spread out that Onestone was serious about it.
Just a few weeks later, Yellowbird's cousin Bluebird approached...
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250.
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’
The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead horse!’
Chuck...
Thứ Hai, 29 tháng 1, 2018
An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are working on a building site...
High above the city, they sit together, eating their lunch as they do every lunchtime. The Englishman, Arthur, opens his lunchbox and picks out his sandwiches.
"I say! roast beef sandwiches. I'm sick of roast beef sandwiches! If I've got roast beef sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myself off this building!"
Andrew, the Scot, opens his sandwiches, "Ach! haggis sandwiches! I'm sick of haggis sandwiches! If I get haggis sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myself off this building!"
Paddy likewise opens his sandwiches, "Feck! potato sandwiches! I'm...
George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."...
Man: Hey sir! Could I interest you in a microscope?
Customer: No thanks, I’d have no use. Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do! Customer: I can’t read this, it’s too small! Man: Boy have I got the product for you!...
The Astronaut Who Might Actually Get Us to Mars
The Astronaut Who Might Actually Get Us to Mars
The improbable journey of Franklin Chang Díaz, who immigrated to the U.S. at eighteen, became an astronaut, tied the record for most spaceflights, and now might hold the key to deep space travel.
January 29, 2018 at 12:47AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rJhn...
I bumped into an old school friend today.
I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
I said, "No, she's a fucking optician."...
"The bond's Name. James Name"
Pleased to... what?
"Bond Name's the james"
Are you alright?
"Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"...
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."...
Chủ Nhật, 28 tháng 1, 2018
The salesman
A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j- joooob-b."
"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment ," said the owner.
"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k- kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!" said the man.
"O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them." said the owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later. "H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man.
The owner was impressed, so he gave the...
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff." The preacher is astonished...
On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me...
"If you ever come close to me, I'll fucking skin you alive. When we're sleeping, you don't fucking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either."
"Fucking great." I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."...
Two liars went for a swim.
Now these two were a dad and his son. The dad climbed a boulder and proceeded to dive into the water. He got his foot stuck between some rocks and struggled to release his feet for around 2 minutes before swimming back to the surface.
Son: You were under for quite a while there. What happened?
Dad: Oh! I found a nice diner down there and decided to stop for a cup of coffee!
Son: Yeah right. I bet there's a Starbucks down there too.
Dad: I'm not kidding! Dive down and see it for yourself.
The son then proceeded to dive from the same boulder, but...
Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their respective partners are on a cruise.
A tidal wave then came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
Next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
First up came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St Peter shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, I cannot let you in. You were too greedy. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”
Up next was the second straight guy and his wife. “I’m sorry, for I cannot let you in either. You were also greedy. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married...
How my Husband and I Terrified a Taxi Driver
My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre.
Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them un-chaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.
Because I didn't want the taxi...
My wife is turning 32 soon..
I've told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. "After all," I said, "The celebrations are only going to last half a minute."
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
I said, "It’s your thirty-second birthday!"...
RNC Finance Chair Steve Wynn Resigns After Sexual Harassment Allegations
RNC Finance Chair Steve Wynn Resigns After Sexual Harassment Allegations
Las Vegas casino mogul Steve Wynn is stepping down as Republican National Committee finance chair, according to three Republicans familiar with the decision.
January 28, 2018 at 03:42AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2neBZ...
In USSR we had this joke
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die...
A twist on an old joke.
Scientists recently did a study on the effects the right side and left side of a brain had on counting. They first took out the left half of a man's brain and asked him to count to 10.
He says, "2, 4, 6, 8, 10".
They put the left half back in and removed the right half, asking him to count to 10 again.
He says "1, 3, 5, 7, 9".
Finally they decided to just go for it and removed the whole brain. They again asked him to count to 10 one more time.
He says, "Look. I'm great at counting to 10, ok? I love numbers and I have the best numbers. No one has...
A man and woman die on their way to get married.
They find themselves in a long line before the Pearly Gates. They spend time talking as they wait and decide to see if they can get married in heaven.
When it's their turn at the gate they ask St Peter if they even can get married in heaven. "That's a good question. Wait here and I will get you an answer"
St Peter leaves the couple and the minutes turn to hours, the hours turn to days. Finally after more than a week St Peter returns. He look exhausted and worn.
"Ok" he says "you can get married in heaven, go on in"
"But wait! Eternity is a long...
Thứ Bảy, 27 tháng 1, 2018
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 5 more years and then dies.
They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"...
A son says: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay.
Mom: Stares at Dad
Dad: Clenches fist
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: Sweats Profusely
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"...
Money or Sex which one?
A woman preparing to leave her husband casually informs him, "I'm going to become a hooker. I can make $300 for what I give you for free." "I'm coming with you," the man replies. "I want to see you live on $600 a year."...
Where Are All the Vegetarian TV Shows?
Where Are All the Vegetarian TV Shows?
Chefs who'd rather not cook with meat for whatever reason shouldn't be made to feel like they're showing up with a rubber knife to a gunfight.
January 27, 2018 at 02:37AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2Gn5G...
I told my son, “You will marry the girl I choose.”
He said, “NO!”
I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.”
He said, “OK.”
I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.”
Bill Gates said, “NO.”
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.”
Bill Gates said, “OK.”
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, “NO.”
I told him, “My son is Bill Gates’ son-in-law.”
He said, “OK.”
This is how politics works....
I took my daughter out for her first drink...
While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink. Off we went to our local bar only two blocks from the house. I got her a Guinness. She didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got her a Killian's she didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought she might like some Harp Lager? She didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe she'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope! In desperation, I had her try that 25 year old Glenfiddich. The bar's...
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant...
The Godfather asks the accountant, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?”
The accountant does not answer.
The Godfather asks again, “Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?”
The attorney interrupts, “Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you.”
The Godfather says, “Well ask him where my damn money is!”
The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is.
The accountant signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The attorney interprets...
Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 1, 2018
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.....
The Lost Art of Staying Put | Lucy Ellmann
The Lost Art of Staying Put | Lucy Ellmann
We've been fed a bunch of fake reasons to travel by evil geniuses determined to use up all the fossil fuels as fast as possible, so as to coerce us all into accepting nuclear power as soon as possible.
January 25, 2018 at 11:43PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rEg1...
What’s the difference?
Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give? Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one. Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer (naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat? Farmer: Which one? Black or brown? Interviewer: Black. Farmer: It eats grass. Interviewer: And the other one? Farmer: Grass. Interviewer (now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?! Farmer: Because the black one’s...
A marksman walks into a weapons store, looking to buy a new scope for his sniper riffle
The marksman tells the owner he wants the best one available
The owner shows him a piece and says "this one has a reach of over 1 km. That's so far, you can see crystal clear my house on the hill from here."
The marksman grabs the scope and looks in the direction the shop owner was pointing. Then he says "I'm impressed! I really can see your house from here! In fact, I even can tell that there are a man and a woman both naked on the balcony."
The shop owner, realising what was going on, says "Tell you what: You can keep this scope free of charge,...
Thứ Năm, 25 tháng 1, 2018
A judge asks Mickey why he is divorcing Minnie
Judge: It says here that you’re ending this marriage because Minnie was extremely silly
Mickey: No, its because she’s fucking goofy...
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was,...
A man comes home one day and says, "Guess what honey? Pack your bags, I won the lottery!"
The wife squeals with delight and says, "That's great! Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?" He says, "I don't care, just get out!"...
An old Ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in
"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"
"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.
"No, only one."
He starts cleaning the rifle again....
A highly successful Manager was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree". "Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also...
A guy is drinking in a bar...
After his last drink, he tries to stand up and falls. He starts crawling out of the bar. He crawls out of the bar, he crawls in the street, trying to hold on to something, but each time he falls and he just keeps crawling home. He crawls up his stairs, he crawls to his bedroom, and finally he crawls into his bed next to his wife. The morning after, he wakes up to find his wife looking pissed off.
"Did you get wasted last night ? Again ?"
" No no no sweetie, what makes you say that ?"
" The bartender called, you forgot your f***ing weelchair t...
“This Is Serious”: Facebook Begins Its Downward Spiral
“This Is Serious”: Facebook Begins Its Downward Spiral
Facebook was always famous for the sign that hung in its offices, written in big red type on a white background, that said "Move Fast and Break Things." Every time I think about the company, I realize it has done just that — to itself.
January 25, 2018 at 12:05AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rDCL...
I once toured an mental asylum...
I definitely saw some people who clearly needed to be there and others that seem normal, I asked the asylum doctor/psychologist how they determine if someone is truly 'insane'.
'We fill a bath tub up with water and present the patient with a spoon, tea cup and a bucket. We then ask them to empty the tub of the water.'
'Oh I get it! A sane person would use a bucket because it holds the most water.'
'No, the sane person would pull the plug. Would you like a room with a window?"...
A pretty girl goes to the doctor..
A pretty girl in her early twenties went to the doctor. "What seems to be the problem?" The doctor asked.
Flustered and shy the girl replied "I have some pain urinating and there seems to be a constant itch down there."
"Alright, please take off your pants and panties and lie down on the bench."
She complied and did what she was told.
"Now spread your legs." The doctor said, who was standing on the other side of the room.
The beautiful young lady spread her legs.
The doctor then went to the corner of the room and grabbed a huge pole, about 7'...
Thứ Tư, 24 tháng 1, 2018
Jonny's grandad gives him a new bicycle for his birthday.
"This is a very special, highly advanced bicycle. It can do things no other bike can do. But you must take it out for a ride at least every 7 days, or it will hurt you", says his granddad.
Jonny puts the bicycle in his shed and forgets about it for a week. Then one day, Jonny goes to the shed to take the bike out for a ride. But as he's about to pick it up, the bike jumps on Jonny and beats him up.
"Why did you do that?" Jonny asks the bicycle. "Because you haven't taken me out to ride in 7 days" it replies.
"But that's why i'm here, to take you...
One last blow job
Some soldiers are deep in enemy lines and life's luck looks like it's about to run out. "Hey fellas before I die, I want one last blow job. Will one of you guys help me out?" The other soldiers are stunned. "No!" "Absolutely not!" "Go jack off or do what ever but we don't want any part of it!!" "Fine, I'll find some one who will." He climbs out of the trench, bullets raining past him as he runs forward into a another trench. Time passes and the soldiers think for sure he must have got hit and was dead, but just then, they see him stick his head...
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says...
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into...
A man notices his wife’s butt is getting big...
“I bet your butt is as big as my grill.”
His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they’re about the same size.
That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky. “Not tonight,” says his wife.
He asks her why not, to which she responds, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weiner?”...
Unhappy about the net neutrality repeal? You could move to Montana
Unhappy about the net neutrality repeal? You could move to Montana
Governor Steve Bullock has signed an executive order requiring ISPs with state contracts to treat all content equally.
January 23, 2018 at 07:14AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2n5gx...
Linguistic Humor
The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The...
Thứ Ba, 23 tháng 1, 2018
A man visits the dentist after doing 69
After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, a man remembered he had a dentist appointment.
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath, so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of Listerine mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist, he chewed 5 strong mints too.!
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough & said, "Man, did you have a 69 before you came here?"
The guy was shocked, and asked, "Does my breath smell like pussy?"
The...
A husband and wife were grocery shopping ...
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.
"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.
"We can't afford it. Put it back," demands the wife. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts the ...
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.
The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?"
"Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.
Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?"
"Ummm... 10!" says the blonde.
"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history.
"OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
"Ummm... I don't know," the blonde admits.
"Well, you can go home and think about...
The Man Who Made Black Panther Cool
The Man Who Made Black Panther Cool
Christopher Priest broke the color barrier at Marvel and reinvented a classic character. Why was he nearly written out of comics history?
January 22, 2018 at 09:53PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2DsUI...
Three Bills at a bar
Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia where sitting at the bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:
"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:
"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."
The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly...
My 4 year old daughter saw me put a cucumber mask on.
She kept laughing and told me that she'll tell all her friends. The next day, I went to the supermarket with her to buy some stuff and a cucumber. My girl told the cashier,"I won't tell u where mummy puts this cucumber because she'll shout at me.”...
A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?" Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule...
"911, what's your emergency?"
"Me and my friend were out hunting and... I accidentally shot him and now he's dead!"
"Alright, sir, calm down. Now, we need to be sure he's actually dead before we do anything else."
BANG
"Okay, what next?"...
I was sitting at a bar last night
And this Asian looking fella sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.
I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like Kung fu, or Karate or Ju Jitsu. He says no, WTF man!? Are you asking because I’m Chinese?
I said no, it’s because you’re drinking my beer....
Thứ Hai, 22 tháng 1, 2018
I just made love to my girlfriend
She asked, "If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?"
I took off my condom, tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet.
"Well" I said, "If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini"....
Johnny
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
"That's right Susie, you can go home."
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
"That's right Mary, you can go."
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
"That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
When the teacher turns her back Johnny yells in frustration, "I wish those dumb bitches...
I had a tough conversation with my parents
Dad: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Dad: water
Me: water who?
Dad: water you even doing with your life? I ask you this in the form of a joke because it seems this best relates to the course of your life thus far....
The Invasion of the German Board Games
The Invasion of the German Board Games
Their peaceful premises and intricate rule systems are changing the way Americans play — and helping shape an industry in the process.
January 22, 2018 at 03:47AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2BgUl...
Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car
The operator asks for his location.
Jack says “I’m outside 28 Eucalyptus Road”.
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There’s shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. “Jack?” says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
“Sorry about that” says Jack. “I just dragged him ‘round to 1 Oak Street”...
A lady to her parish priest..
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over...
Chủ Nhật, 21 tháng 1, 2018
President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."...
A man walks up to the pearly white gates of heaven
God looks down on him and speaks.
“We don’t know of anything particularily good or bad you have done in your lifetime, so it is up to you to tell us a story that will persuade us in a certain direction whether it be heaven or hell.”
The man looks up shakingly and responds with a story.
“One day when I was driving down a rural freeway, I saw a gang beating up a sensless child. Feeling brave, I popped my collar, put my sunglasses on and parked the car. Running out to them, I yelled ‘If you want to hurt him you’ll have to go through me first’ “
God...
Toast of the Night
Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
Dave said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, me dear Davey that is very nice indeed!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary...
The deaf wife problem.
Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That...
"I got an F in arithmetic."
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"...
Should English be the only official language of the EU?
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear...
Two statues, a man and woman, had stood watch in a park for along time.
One day, an angel came down and told the statues, "You two have stood watch in this park for so long and have been such exemplary statues, as a reward, I will snap my fingers, and you two will come to life for 30 minutes." The angel snapped his fingers, and the two statues blinked to life.
"What do we do now?" Asked the female statue.
"You can do whatever you want for the next 30 minutes."
The male statue looked at the woman and smiled, the woman looked coyly at the man, they took hands and walked into the bushes. The angel sat on a bench and...
I wanted to fuck my neighbors wife
I've always felt an irresistible attraction for the neighbor next door.
One day, when speaking to her husband, he said: "I need to have my apartment painted, but I work all day and I get tired. I tried to hire a professional painter but the guy asked me for the an arm and a leg ..."
At that moment, I just had a brilliant idea.
"Don't sweat it, neighbor! I'm on vacation and painting walls is my favorite hobby! It would be a pleasure to do this task."
The guy accepted the offer and was really happy.
I don't want to brag about my conversation skills,...
How The Women's March Has Evolved A Year Later
How The Women's March Has Evolved A Year Later
A deluge of revelations about powerful men abusing women, leading to the #MeToo moment, has galvanized activists to demand deeper social and political change.
January 21, 2018 at 01:43AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2DTYj...
The Two Nuns
There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working....
Genie: Tell Me, Whats Your First Wish?
Thomas: I Wish I Was Rich.
Genie: Granted, What's Your Second Wish?
Rich: Where The Fuck Is My Money Asshole?...
Thứ Bảy, 20 tháng 1, 2018
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"
Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"...
The husband leans over and asks his wife
"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against...
Vaseline
Joe wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it.
The bike looks better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It's shiny and in mint condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That...
Donald Trump, what's 2+2?
I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite...
City Of Los Angeles Announces Graphic Designer Job Opening With An Extremely Clever Ad
City Of Los Angeles Announces Graphic Designer Job Opening With An Extremely Clever Ad
If the aim of a good ad is to reach a wide number of people for cheap and to make a lasting impression, then this is a very good ad.
January 19, 2018 at 10:02PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2FURJ...
So a guy asked a girl in a library
A guy asked a girl in a library: Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied with a loud voice: I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU! All the students in the library started staring at the guy, he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said: I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed right? The guy responded with a loud voice: $500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH! All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered in her...
An Australian ventriloquist visiting Afghanistan, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the villager "can I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk...
Thứ Sáu, 19 tháng 1, 2018
A husband died.
A few years later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes. "Darling, oh how I've missed you!" The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, "Woah there woman. The contract was until death."...
A Jewish Father was very upset by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it.
"Rabbi, I brought my son up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah, and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then, he tells me last week that he's decided to be Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"
The Rabbi rubs his beard and says: "Funny you should come to me. I too brought up my son as a boy of faith, sent him to University, and it cost me a fortune for his education. Then after he's done, he comes to me and says that he wants to be Christian."
"What did you do?" the man asked the Rabbi.
"I turned to God for the answer," replied...
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind.
Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away...
The Fall of Travis Kalanick Was a Lot Weirder and Darker Than You Thought
The Fall of Travis Kalanick Was a Lot Weirder and Darker Than You Thought
Silicon Valley CEOs are supposed to be sacrosanct. So how did it all go wrong at Uber?
January 18, 2018 at 10:59PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2mJL8...
So a boy asks his father what's an alcoholic
The father says, "see those 4 trees over there? An alcoholic would see 8 trees" The boy replies, "but dad, I only see two trees!"...
A man is showing off his new apartment...
After a night at the bar, he brings his friends up, where he has large brass gong and a mallet.
"What's with the gong and mallet?" One of his friends asked.
"It's not a gong, it's a talking clock," the man replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?"
"Yup."
"How's it work?" The friend asked
"Watch," said the man. He picked up the mallet and banged the gong as hard as he could, stepping back as the pound reverberated around the room.
The friends looked at the man, rather confused.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall started screaming "You...
From Nazi Germany to Australia: The Incredible True Story of History’s Longest Kayak Journey
From Nazi Germany to Australia: The Incredible True Story of History’s Longest Kayak Journey
This is the story of Oscar Speck’s voyage, a seven-and-a-half-year adventure nearly lost to history.
January 18, 2018 at 08:41AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2FNj3...
Thứ Năm, 18 tháng 1, 2018
A man walks into a Bar.
A man walks into a bar and sees a very attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, “May I buy you a cocktail?”
"No thank you," she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."
"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
"No, they spread."...
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt...
His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. ''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a...
My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size
... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink....
Why Has Bitcoin Tumbled Almost 50% From Its Peak Last Month? A Few Theories
Why Has Bitcoin Tumbled Almost 50% From Its Peak Last Month? A Few Theories
Is this the sound of a bubble bursting, or is it just a normal correction inspired by the forthcoming Lunar New Year? Here's what you need to know.
January 18, 2018 at 02:43AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2rdij...
Old man at a nursing home.
There was an old man in a nursing home who had felt lonely since his wife had passed. and everyday he would sit at the same bench and stare at the trees in the yard.
And elderly woman walked up to him one day and began to talk to him. She heard his story and was saddened and asked if there was anything she could do to cheer him up. "actually" the man spoke "you could hold my penis"
At first the lady thought this was strange but she figured since she wasnt doing anything bad; just holding his penis, that theres no harm done.
Day after day shed...
Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 1, 2018
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree....
A highly successful manager was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass...
Astonished by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also...
A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint.....
when a lizard walks up and says "Hey koala what are you doing?"
The koala answers "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink.
The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, "What's wrong with you, lizard?"
The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too stoned and fell in while...
What a horrible way to die
Two guys meet up in a bar.
The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all...
Doctor- “I’ve got good news and bad news...
“Take one of these pills every day for the rest of your life and all your symptoms will disappear.”
Man- “That’s great! But I see there are only three pills in this bottle.”
Doctor- “Yeah, well... I was getting to the bad news.”...
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice...
I was in a job interview when the manager handed me his laptop and says “I want you to try to sell this to me”
So I closed it, put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called me and said, “You bring it back here right now” I said, “$100 and it’s yours”....
Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways [NSFW]
During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.
During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.
During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.
And recently, incest porn has become really popular....
Here's The Terribly-Designed Computer Menu That Led To Hawaii's False Missile Alarm
Here's The Terribly-Designed Computer Menu That Led To Hawaii's False Missile Alarm
While the alert was a massive, massive screwup, there doesn't appear to be anything nefarious behind it — other than truly awful design.
January 16, 2018 at 09:01PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2r7Ai...
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"
Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."
"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."
Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world's...
Thứ Ba, 16 tháng 1, 2018
A Rottweiler, Pit Bull, and Great Dane are in kennels at the vet.
The Rott says "my owner's kid got close to my bowl while I was eating so I bit her face. I'm here to be put down."
The Pit says "I keep getting nervous and pissing all over the carpet. My owner's sick of it and I'm here to be put down."
The Dane says "My owner is a beautiful 22 year old college student. One day she got out of the shower and was bending over to dry off. I couldn't help myself so I mounted her and fucked her brains out."
The other dogs shake their heads "so she's putting you down too."
The Dane looks surprised. "What? No, I'm here...
I walked in last night to find a paramedic crouching over my wife. “Get your lips off my wife,”
I snapped pulling him off her. “But sir, I’m not kissing her!” He pleaded. “She’s stopped breathing.”
“Do I need to repeat myself?...
My Father tells this one at every family get together. (Apologies in advance if that has been posted here already)
So Mrs. Rodgers is a 3rd grade English teacher, and each Monday she gives her students a new vocabulary word. The students' task is to come up with a sentence using the new vocabulary word by the following day. This week the word is "contagious."
So Tuesday morning rolls around and Mrs. Rodgers starts off: "OK class, who wants to share the sentence they came up with using the word 'contagious'?"
Everyone's hands shoot up. Mrs. Rodgers says "Oh my goodness, I love the enthusiasm, but we only have time for 3 pupils to share."
Mrs. Rodgers first...
Here's The Vikings' Unbelievable, Last-Second Game-Winning Touchdown Over The Saints
Here's The Vikings' Unbelievable, Last-Second Game-Winning Touchdown Over The Saints
The Minnesota Vikings looked finished, until Case Keenum and Stefon Diggs pulled off the impossible.
January 15, 2018 at 08:37AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2Dxmz...
Thứ Hai, 15 tháng 1, 2018
When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
First of all, - just for some background: My Mum died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.
Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.
I don't want to...
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)