Toast of the Night

Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

Dave said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, me dear Davey that is very nice indeed!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of Dave's drinking buddies, Frank Feldman on the street corner.

FranK chuckled leeringly and said,

"Dave won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."