"Okay, I'm looking for a pet, but I'm not sure what I want. But I know I want something different."
The pet shop owner informs him that he has a talking centipede.
"Really?" says the man "I need it. How much?" The owner informs him that the talking centipede is only $50 dollars. Happy with the unusual offering the man pays the money, the pet shop owner puts the centipede in a matchbox and the man takes his new pet home.
After getting home, he sets the match box with the centipede in it on his kitchen table, opens it and says, "Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the bar for a few drinks?"
The centipede says nothing. Figuring it must be tired from the journey he decides to leave it for an hour and try again later.
An hour later he opens the match box again and says, "Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the bar for a few drinks?"
Again, the centipede says nothing. Starting to get suspicious, the man decides he will give it one more hour and if the centipede doesn't talk he will take it back to the pet shop for a refund.
An hour later the man opens the match box and says, "Hello Mr. Centipede, fancy going to the bar for a few drinks?"
The centipede says, "I heard you the first time you asshole! I'm still putting my fucking shoes on!"
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