A vampire bat came flopping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, parked himself on the ceiling of a cave, and prepared to get some sleep.

Pretty soon, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and go get some sleep.

But they persisted, until finally he gave in, grudgingly. “Ok,” he said, “follow me,” and he flew out of the cave with hundreds and hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river, into a forest of trees.

Finally, he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now,” he said, “you see that tree over there?” “Yes, yes, yes!,” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good!,” said the first bat. “Because I fucking didn’t.”